It's getting more and more surreal.

That's a good thing ... getting more ideas. More dreams. Is my subconscious finally recovering from all that crap that happened so long ago?

... Last night I had a dream that all my hair grew back. I was very disturbed, as in the dream I actually liked the way I looked. So, so strange, and this morning, another student shaved his head. I'll just chalk it up to a weird series of coincidences.

The lack of sleep is making things a lot... stranger... than usual.

Message to my girl

Creative Exhaustion

Feeling so drained.  No real reason... but I guess bouncing lots of ideas around for students takes a lot out of me.  Now sitting down when I actually want to work on my own things I can barely lift the pencil.  I should just go home and eat, chill and sleeeeeep.  Oh precious, precious sleep.  Sleep early before the hammering cacophony of construction just beyond the window tears me away from the rest that is not so easily achieved. 

My mind and why it works against me...

I don't know.  Perhaps it's the effort expended all of a sudden in one day.  DCA is like ... crunch time for 6 months if you're doing the program.  It's... a different type of crunch time from the other side of the line, but it's no less exhausting. 

Can't sleep.  My brain's so damn tired but it's -still on-.  I hate this.  It happens too often I think.  Perhaps it's just some sort of weird chemical imbalance.  Lord knows I'm not the most balanced person on the planet.  Typing this out... it isn't really even helping me sort this out... can't concentrate.  Why?

Need sleep.  But can't.  Body/mind denying sleep. 

What to do.  Conflicted.  Meditation not working.  Unsure.  Just hope this doesn't blow out to become another sort of fucked up late night anxiety attack.  Those are ... really damn bad.

No, have to clear my head.  Too much to think about.  Too much.  I think the Japanese really got it right.  1 hour in the super hot tub after work every day.  Best place to meditate in the winter.  Totally clears your mind.  Damn.  I should try that I think... Maybe.

Stupid brain.  Stupid stupid stupid.

Busy busy busy

Work work work.  It starts all over again!  The madness!  The horror!  The pleasure!  The pain!  The greenhorns got a pretty good indication of the stress levels today when a term 5 student tried to get past them in the corridor and didn't excuse himself, but instead made a high pitched squealing sound and flapped his arms slightly, all the way down the corridor to the ant farm (the big lab)... Funnily enough such behavior is the normal around here, and quite mild. 

Still got an hour to go.  Tomorrow the mind-melting begins in earnest with their first full day lecture, followed by one of my labs.  Think I shall continue to melt their brains a bit more.  Add a little bit of ... 'spice' to the saute... You know it's cooking well when smoke starts to come out their ears...

Squeeeeee!